Working with a coach can be an exceptional and transformative experience. The coach is a professional who can help you build a “better” life for yourself – a tailor-made, unique “better”, created in resonance with your individual definition and need.
Are you looking for a new job or a career transition? Are you looking to rework certain behavior models that block you? You need more satisfaction? You are looking for your “purpose”, for balance or you need a trusted “brainstorming partner”, who listens actively? You want to quit postponing important decisions in life? You are about to start a new business, you want more from life, more awareness, more inner peace and space for yourself, a new perspective… and on and on.
The coaching professional can help you achieve all of that. The coach will guide you through your personal journey by asking powerful questions, unveiling hidden barriers and supporting you to face yourself. The coach guides you to achieve your aspirations, walks by your side as long as needed to achieve this “more” you dream for.
A good coach brings on board credible coaching education, rich professional experience, a high degree of emotional intelligence and ethics, excellent communication skills and something intangible – a charisma that touches you. Once you get to meet them, you recognize that 🙂
But what does it take from you to work most effectively with your coach?
Here are some highlights from my practice:
1. Be ready to take responsibility
The coach is not a magician (though certain coaching conversations might leave you with a sense of magic). The coach illuminates the road ahead of you, but you are the one who does the walking. You are the one who makes the tough conversations at home or work, takes up additional classes or a new educational degree. You are in charge of the necessary change and the work to be done to achieve it. And that it is not always easy – it takes time and commitment, specific actions, sometimes there are hurdles on the way, even failures, a change of tactics, a new attempt.
2. Be brave
A coach is usually chosen “with the heart”, trust and intuition but that does not mean your conversations will always be pleasant. The coach is there to hold up the mirror in front of you, so that you can reflect when you succeed and shine in your full magnificence but also when you need to face your inner saboteurs, your doubts and the moments when you play low. If these tough conversations provoke your irritation or even anger, answer honestly to yourself – is the problem the coach or your resistance to change? Do not forget that the coach’s only agenda is to take you through the whole process so that you can achieve the “better” you aim for. If you are ready not to spare yourself and to not always feel comfortable but want to see what is beyond the known territories of you, you will be able to do what is best for yourself.
3. Don’t beat yourself too hard
Those who are committed to walk the path of self-awareness are often most critical of themselves. What will help is not about taking it easy or cutting yourself some slack whenever possible, but striving to do your best and at the same time accepting that sometimes it might not be enough. Developing yourself through coaching is a process. Give yourself the time, space for growth, patience and understanding, as you would give it to your most beloved 🙂
4. Come to the session prepared
Before every session, spend some time reflecting (you can also put down some notes) about your next session’s topic. It may be connected to your previous ones, but it is also very possible that something else important has surfaced meanwhile and requires your attention. The topic always comes from the client! Try to be as clear as possible what exactly it is that you want to work on during the session. Even if it is not completely straightforward, the coach knows how to help you unravel it and put the focus on whatever makes most sense to you.
5. Do your part of the job
It is often said that the real coaching takes place between the sessions. The more seriously you take the “assignment” given to work during the sessions, the more beneficial it will be for you to make a step forward to your goal. Sometimes it not so much about “doing something” than it is about the “being somehow”. After every session, put down some notes about what happened, what are the findings and the questions that arose in the conversation. Find some time to reflect between sessions on these, identify “structures” (any form of reminders) to help you remember the necessary direction or state you agreed on. Very often, the coach will give you specific homework/ exercise or inquires to prepare. Try not to leave these for the very last moment before your next session, but do them on time so as not to lose the momentum. This will help you take the maximum for yourself from the coaching you signed up for.
If you have made it up to here and something has clicked, think about whether the right moment has not come for you to give coaching a try and achieve this “more” that you have always been looking for?